Forever can't last
by Avarwen
Summary: You showed me something I had never seen before perhaps something a filthy halfbreed like me was never meant to see and that, even if I wanted to, I couldn’t forget. You showed me love. NOT AN UPDATE, JUST AN EDIT!


A\N: This was done in the time span of about half an hour (so it was a little rushed) but, again, my mind was being uncooperative and wouldn't let me work on "chained" (which I was really hoping to update soon!) so I wrote this instead. Hope it doesn't suck, cause it doesn't seem much like Inuyasha's personality.

I don't think so, anyway.

I suppose this story _could_ be considered a sequel to "Understand" but it doesn't really follow along the same lines. Reading that story isn't necessary for this one. If you like this story, then please let me know by reviewing! It is very important to feed my ego and muses with reviews so that I can feel inspired to continue writing!

Also, I made some minor editing changes to this story (very minor, that I'll doubt anyone would notice, but they were driving me slightly crazy, so...)

**VERY IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: **(Don't go on until you fully comprehend the meaning of this!) As with all my stories, I own nothing but the story itself. If you think I do then you clearly aren't as big a fan of the thing as you thought! Inuyasha and all characters from the anime and manga belong to Rumiko Takahashi. I make no money off of them, so if you sue me that's about as much as you'll get!

Everybody clear on that?

Then please go on with the story:

Forever can't Last

Five.

That's how many people are involved in this complicated little web of love. Five people.

You, me, Kikyo, Kouga, and that boy from your time-- Hoja, or whatever his name is. Albeit, he doesn't know he's part of a web of love, and you don't seem to really want to include him, but you don't try too hard to discourage him now do you?

And that damn flea-bitten wolf whose always trailing after us. Stupid cocky bastard, can't take a hint can he? Of course, if it weren't for him, you might have gotten killed when I was fighting with Juromaru and Kageromaru. Still, that doesn't give him the right to come sniffing after you any time he damn well pleases!

You always act embarrassed when he does that, but I think you truthfully like the attention. Either that, or you just like seeing me go haywire on him. And I always do. I would have killed him long ago if you hadn't stopped me. It's probably a good thing too, because, as much as I hate to admit it, the wolf has proven himself useful on a few occasions. Though he's also proven to be such a damn hindrance that I sometimes wonder if it's worth it! It would be nice to encounter him just once and not end up having the save him from some power-hungry demon after the shards in his legs.

Stupid baka, he should just give them to us already, that way there's at least _some_ guarantee that Naraku's not going to get his hands on them.

But what about the other side of the web?

What about Kikyo?

I know you've seen me with her.

I've seen you see me with her.

I've seen her try to kill you, _promise_ to kill me, she even held a knife to my throat on that one encounter when I saved her from the giant soul collector. That was the day we-- no, _I_-- decided that you shouldn't stay anymore.

Like the last time it was for your own protection-- but this time for the protection of your heart and mind, not your body. And those two are far more vital.

You knew that I had bound myself to Kikyo-- that I know I must give my life in return for what she did for me. And yet you're still here.

We're still here.

And we're not like Sango and Miroku are we?

They've got a complex enough relationship, with Miroku groping her at every turn before asking every woman they meet to bear his child, while they continue to hot-foot around the main situation. I wish they would just get to it already, cause they're driving me up the wall!

Not that you and I are much better.

But we have an understanding.

We _can't_ admit that we're in love, and yet... I think we both know it's true.

But we can't tell each other, because those feelings will lead to nothing but misery. And I'm not saying that because of what happened with Kikyo, I know it would be different with you. You're not her. You're quicker to anger, but also quicker to laugh, and you've never left my side--ever. Not when Sesshomaru attacked, or when I battled Ryukotsusei and turned full demon-- you _should_ have left, should have fled like I know the other's wanted you too, but you didn't... you stayed and... that was the only reason I was able to gather the strength to pick up Tetsusaiga again.

Did you know that?

Probably not. It's not like I would say anything like that out loud. I can't. At first it was because of everything in my past-- I'd been hurt too much, I was too used to rejection and bottling up my emotions-- but now that I finally feel I can open up to you, I can't.

Because that would lead to hope, wouldn't it? Hope for something more? And you and I both know that can't happen. It'll only end in heartbreak.

I say all this (and you know it's true too) because in the end, Kikyo will kill me (if Naraku doesn't first, though I'll be damned if I let that bastard have the satisfaction of ending my life!) and you will return to your own time. There's no other way it can be.

You don't belong here.

You're from the future.

You're only here because of a mistake-- a mistake that brought the Shikon jewel back to the past-- and it doesn't belong here either. You're only here until you can retrieve the jewel and return to the future as it's guardian.

That's all.

And I'm only here because... you're here.

That's the only reason my heart is even still beating in my chest.

Even if I had never met Kikyo, or had somehow managed to free myself from the tree, I never would have made it on my own again... if it weren't for you.

You showed me something I had never seen before-- perhaps something a filthy half-breed like me was never meant to see-- and that, even if I wanted to, I couldn't forget. You showed me love.

I suppose my mother loved me too, but that's different. My mother loved me because that's what mother's do-- they love their children. But you loved me in an entirely different way for an entirely different reason, when no one, not even my own brother, had ever shown me any kind of compassion before. Even Kikyo had only thought to love me once I bent to her will and became human.

But you've never asked anything of me-- not really -- other than that I stay the same and let you stay with me. Forever.

But forever can't last Kagome.

It's almost over already, surely you can feel that. I know you must, because you're always looking at me with your eyes dark and sad and almost lonely, even though we haven't parted yet. And I know that inside you're beginning to feel empty and incomplete without me, because I feel that way too. And it _aches_.

But I don't let on.

I've never been one to show my emotions before-- not even really to you-- and I won't now. Especially since I know that it will break us both. Inside and out.

But you're not gone yet, and neither am I, so I'll let you stay with me for now -- forever -- until you can't stay with me anymore. And then you'll return to your era to be with Hoha... I can't even finish that thought. It hurts too much and too deeply.

Just let me stay with you for now, unthinking, uncaring, at least for the moment. This moment's almost all we have left.

After all, Forever can't last.

End


End file.
